Tuesday, August 25, 2009

SPECIAL BULLETIN: Health Minister Requests Volunteers

The People's Proscript Party's Minister of Health Olivia Lange has reached out to the Voluntary Action Committee for assistance in handling an unexpected increase in calls to its Mental Health Hotline following the broadcast of the Grotian Underground commercial during Saturday's Proscript Power Day.

"While we are unsure of the precise reason for the flood of calls, we are doing everything in our power to assure that Proscripts receive appropriate care for their strife. For this reason we are issuing a community-wide call for Hotline volunteers to direct our citizens to the appropriate health facilities and agencies," Lange said.

Early reports indicate that Proscripts are exhibiting an increase in sleep disorders, excessive drinking of alcohol, and abuse of a variety of mood-altering substances.

"If you can spare any time at all, please sign up with Mrs. Smarter at the hospital, which houses the Hotline phone banks," Lange noted.

Morning update to this story: The GG has learned from volunteers on the overnight Hotline shift the cause of the Proscripts' distress. Some Proscripts, stunned by the Grotian Underground's video showing the truth about our housing conditions, began asking questions of their trusted workers. Unusual behavior and symptoms were reported in the subsequent hours and days. Mrs. Smarter tells us that additional volunteers still are needed.


  1. The calls are coming in because Proscripts have been taught to consider as a mental disease the cognitive dissonance that all mentally healthy people necessarily feel when exposed to Party doubletalk.

    What has become of this blog? It once spoke truth. Now it is nothing more than an outlet for Party press releases.

    It is time for us to establish another forum of communication. We have been betrayed.

  2. It is our hope that this morning's followup has clarified this story for you.